Why don’t we negotiate? 10 negotiation myths…busted

The very thought of it can make even the most robust individual quake in their boots, yet hundreds of books, blogs and articles have been written about it, you can study the topic at university, plus we are all doing it really and more often than you might think (what film should we watch, which restaurant should we choose, what’s the right time for a teenager to be in bed?).

There’s an abundance of information out there so that anyone can make a success of negotiation.

While some thrive on the endorphin rush and the feeling of satisfaction that a successful negotiation can bring, why is it that many are reluctant to practise this “art”?

Let me debunk the top 10 reasons why I think some people choose to avoid negotiating:

1.       It’s unstructured – one I hear particularly from the engineering fraternity. While you cannot precisely determine the outputs of the negotiation from your inputs (that sentence has probably already got some people freaking out) negotiation does actually follow a process. There’s not a step-by-step script, but that also allows for creativity to find a solution that works for both parties.

2.       Lack of understanding of how it works – as per my opening paragraph in this article, there’s heaps of material available to bring this “dark art” out of the shadows. So do a little research, read a few articles (even undertake some negotiation training) and hey presto, you’ll be ready to make a start in no time.

3.       Not in my job description – this is one I heard recently. Despite what your job title says, we’re all businesspeople and most of us would like to see our company be as successful as possible. If you’re responsible for spending the company’s money with 3rd parties, you really need to have a basic grasp of negotiation skills. Oh, and if you’re a parent or live with a partner, it’s definitely in your “role profile”!

4.       Don’t want to upset the vendor – this is another “red herring”. If you have a good relationship with your vendor and it’s one based on trust and mutual respect, handled in the right way it’s highly unlikely that a vendor will be really upset to the extent they’ll walk away from the table by you trying to get a better deal. Rest easy - it simply doesn’t happen. There might be a bit of bluster and showmanship from your counterpart at the initial request, but this is all part of the game.

5.       I can afford the price offered – this is lazy! In a work context, think about it this way, if it was your money you were spending, would you be satisfied with yourself knowing that a better deal may have been achievable if only you’d asked? No, I didn’t think so. Outside of work, if it is your hard-earned money….come on, you owe it to yourself to negotiate.

6.       I don’t have the time – see number 5. Plus, with just a couple of hours or preparation (defining your strengths, the best, acceptable and minimum outcome and your walk-away point) it needn’t be a long-winded affair. This will be time well spent.

7.       Cultural reasons – this is a really interesting one, and I don’t profess to be the oracle on global cultural perspectives, but I do think it boils down to how you go about it, being respectful and ensuring your counterpart saves “face”. In the UK, some people are uneasy about it but I think that’s a combination of a fear of rejection, and having grown up in an environment where asking for more is considered “bad manners”. Either way, there will be a path forward for you to tread.

8.       Vendor won’t negotiate on price – I’ve heard this many times, but have you really probed and tested this assertion? And, have you asked for a 2nd time? A modicum of tenacity here can pay-off. If the vendor still says “no”, you’re in luck. Think about the myriad other non-price items of value that you might like to have in lieu of a better price: vendor training, quicker delivery, spare parts inventory, access to innovation etc.

9.       It’s a “grubby” process (meaning, “It’s beneath me to negotiate”) – you really need to get over yourself on this one. Roll your sleeves up and do what’s best for you and your company.

10.   What if I don’t get what I want? – What if you do get what you want? Are you afraid of your colleagues carrying you out of the building aloft in celebration of your skills? In any event, you’ll have lost nothing by trying to get a better deal. “Shy kids get no sweets” etc etc.

 Negotiation is often fun and it is a skill that can be learnt. The potential upsides could be significant, plus, I’ve never experienced any downside after trying to negotiate with anyone, anywhere.

 If you think I could help your business with negotiation skills or cost management, please get in touch.

The best days lie ahead

Martin