Influence - Are You Interesting or Interested?
Easy tips to grow your level of influence
99% of people get this wrong, but it’s actually surprisingly easy to stand out and make a lasting impression.
People just want to be seen and heard, and if they feel that you’ve done that, your level of influence with that person will grow, drastically.
1. Instead of being the most INTERESTING person in the room, try to be the most INTERESTED.
2. Remember the other person’s name – after all, to most of us, it’s our favourite sound - and use their name throughout the conversation (not too much though, that’s a bit weird).
3. Take an interest in their life.
4. Find similarities and areas of common ground. This amplifies the “liking” effect.
5. Ask open questions. Do they have a family, how old are their kids, what pets do they have, ask them the names of their pets, what exciting plans do they have. You get the drift.
6. Listen attentively to their answer and make a comment (the comment is so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation).
7. Remember the 7:35:58 rule (Albert Mehrabian) – the “receiver” will interpret your message through 7% of the words you use, 35% from the tonality of your words and a whopping 58% from your body language.
8. Make eye contact, without holding their gaze for too long (again, that’s a bit disconcerting, only a psychopath would do that).
9. Use appropriate humour – it’s a fast track to building chemistry.
10. Give them your full attention – make them feel like the most important person in the room.
The next time you’re at a social engagement or meeting with a supplier or customer, why not play a little game to see how much you can find out about the other person?
After meeting you, they’ll feel great about themselves, will think you’re the most interesting person in the world, and you’ll have built up considerable goodwill and influence.
When you next meet them, ask them how their partner / kids / dogs are, by name. Boom – this will blow their minds!
