4 Magic Words of Ethical Influence
Now, when it comes to trying to influence others there are some of us, and gosh, I know that I’ve been guilty of this in the past, who are “bunglers of influence”. Those with an incoherent knowledge of the principles of influence but who operate with good intentions for both parties.
But there are also the “smugglers of influence” – those who know the influence techniques inside and out, but have insincere, self-serving intentions.
Let’s talk about these people for a moment.
None of us likes to be “sold to”. You know, the kind of selling technique where you’re breathlessly bombarded with features and benefits without any thought given to whether the solution is relevant, let alone if it meets your needs.
The persuader layers one influence principle on top of another, irrespective of whether it’s true (eg scarcity - “this price is only valid until the end of today”), naturally present (eg liking - “Wow! I’m a huge fan of ancient ceramic crafts too! Who knew?”) or if it’s even in the best interests of both parties to proceed (“a large hadron collider is exactly what little Johnny wants for his birthday. You wouldn’t want to disappoint him. Sign here”).
Fortunately, Smugglers of Influence can be easily detected based on their onslaught of multiple influence levers.
The point is though, to be a “sleuth of influence” – those that understand each of the principles; when and how to apply them, AND who act in the long-term best interests of both parties – there will be no sense of pressure to act.
In fact, research has shown that compliance with a request is highest when the decision-makers feel as if they and they alone have the autonomy to make the decision. This is due to the influence principle of consistency and commitment.
When we make a voluntary commitment, we feel an overwhelmingly strong inner desire to behave consistently with what we’ve said, a feature which is absent in the case of forced compliance or reluctant agreement, and hence why agreements reached under these circumstances are unsustainable in the long-term.
It’s not just my opinion, so don’t take my word for it, consider what science has to say.
In a famous study in Paris (Pascual & Gueguen, 2000) the insertion of a few magic words into a sentence led to a 400% increase in compliance to a request.
Those words were, “But you are free to choose”. It even coined the term the “But you are free” effect.
It’s a feature of our totally irrational system 1 brain again, because we know that we already have the autonomy to act. But, by raising the concept of autonomy to awareness, this tremendous effect is produced.
Similar phrases work just as well such as, “of course, it’s up to you”, or “the decision is yours”.
So how do you apply this? Simple. Let’s suppose that you’ve already cultivated a good relationship with the person you’re trying to persuade.
Whenever you’re next trying to influence their direction, make sure to mention that the choice is theirs, ideally both before you’ve made your proposal, and after it.
You’ll hear more “yes’s” and you’ll make people feel better off from having dealt with you.
Want to learn more about ethical influence? You are free to explore the options, here.
